Far From Ordinary

"The only test of leadership is that someone follows" - Robert Greenleaf


Adrian is not the cookie cutter role model. She has not found the cure for a deadly disease or spent years in the jungles in South America tending to the weak and needy. In fact, she has yet to graduate from college. Nevertheless, in her twenty years on this earth, she has managed to impact the lives of all who have crossed her path, from young to old, knowingly and unknowingly. Most of all, she has shaped my very being, created my sense of self, developed my character, and made me into the person that is willing to sit here on a Friday evening and write a lengthy paper. Adrian’s intelligence and compassion have inspired me to reach for my dreams and exhibit a character I am proud of, as well as helped me formulate my goals for the future and construct the path needed to reach them. Throughout the years, Adrian has stood out as one capable and willing to lead others in an honorable way.

In order to influence others, one must have substance of some sort, positive or negative, great or small; there must be an attractive force exerted by the influential being. Adrian radiated with positive attributes and assets. To begin, her intelligence on a variety of topics surpassed the majority of those I have come across. It was not until the end of my middle school years and beginning of my high school years that I fully appreciated the knowledge she possessed. I was fascinated by her desire to take difficult classes, to spend weekends in her room, reading page after page about topics I struggled to spend a minute thinking about. She was an independent learner, a discovery learner, if you will. Having a scientist for a father, we were constantly exposed to the analytical side of things and the data that made up this world. By the end of high school, Adrian was spending summers in my father’s lab, researching the effects different substances have on dopamine levels in rats, data that was used on a national level. Scientific papers and journals filled her room and her desk, allowing her to delve into the world of psychedelic substances and shocking experimental results. It was through her extensive reading and research that she became interested in a career of scientific proportion. She found that, “all this scientific learning is disassembled from its carefully crafted order…and reassembled around the experience of individual patients becoming ill, recovering, or dying” [1]. Ultimately, she plans to attend medical school, being involved in this scientific process with hopes of helping those in need. Had she not excelled in her schoolwork and demonstrated her ability to take on challenging tasks, a goal of this magnitude would be unfathomable. Her intelligence was not limited to academia, however. Adrian saw the importance of expanding her knowledge to areas of uncertain territory. Charles Darwin felt that “If [he] had to live [his] life again [he] would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once a week; for perhaps the parts of [his] brain now atrophied could thus have been kept active through use.” My sister developed a sense of appreciation for music at a young age and continued to develop it, “discovering” local bands and musicians, attending concerts and seeking to find the meaning behind the music. Her interest in both academics and the arts expanded her mind and allowed both the left and right side of her brain to be utilized.

Throughout high school and even now into college, Adrian has motivated me to take the challenging courses and explore topics I would typically steer clear of. Though we didn’t always speak of it, there was a continuous challenge between the two of us to get the higher grade, whether on a test, in a class, or on the SAT or ACT. Neither used the others’ failures as means to criticize but merely as motivation for future challenges. Her research interested me in the world of drugs and consequently the world of medicine. I too am on the path to becoming a doctor, a long and difficult journey that will certainly test not only my intelligence but my perseverance and determination, all qualities that Adrian epitomizes. One tool of motivation for both Adrian and me is the novel “Dancing Naked in the Mind Field,” by Kary Mullis. A Nobel Peace Prize winner for the invention of Polymerase Chain Reaction (PCR), Mullis demonstrates leadership in his chosen field of work as well as a desire to live a full and often “edgy” life. He experimented with LSD and attempted to synthesize a variety of extremely dangerous drugs. This innovation and drastic defiance of the norm allowed my sister and me to recognize that what may seem out of reach is, in all actuality, quite attainable. Like Mullis, my sister has documented her life through journals. She would “close [her] eyes and allow the day to run through [her] head…[she] wrote about things that hurt, things that were funny, things that touched [her] heart” [2]. Although I have not been as persistent in my record keeping, Adrian has taught me that it is often useful to write down my thoughts and feelings as a way to not only “hammer my thoughts into unity” but also to relieve the stress and teenage angst that often builds up in daily life. I continue to be impressed with her seemingly endless vault of knowledge and the ways in which she applies it to a multitude of circumstances.

Another strong side of my sister’s personality is her ability to demonstrate true compassion to nearly every person she encounters. Kindness seeps through every pore of her body; concern for others never ceases to exist in her realm of being. As a child, she was always warmhearted and thoughtful, however these characteristics were amplified when she began exploring religion and Christianity. The Bible was her teacher, and having had little prior exposure to religion, she was fascinated and interested in what this “teacher” had to offer. Church and Bible study became important activities as she surrounded herself with morally upstanding individuals. Throughout life, “the power of specific encounters is both the grounding of morality and the basis for hope in later life” [3]. Her sense of moral rightness became one so strong and unfaltering that I often felt I could never live up to her standards. She has since fallen away from religion to some extent, however the principles of power of conviction, self-respect and setting a positive example for others remain solid in her day-to-day life. Along with Adrian’s compassionate, loving personality came extreme empathy. She used this empathy to help my Aunt Nanci throughout her battle with cancer, a downward spiral and tumultuous fight that Nanci lost in July. Adrian would write long, heartfelt letters to my aunt, sharing all of her experiences and allowing Nanci, for a moment, to step outside the world of illness and death and into the world of youth and excitement. I truly believe that these letters were an integral part in my aunt’s emotional stability during her struggle and maximized her quality of life while she was still with us. Adrian’s writing ability was also used to put a smile on the faces of my grandparents through weekly letters and emails. Her ability to express her thoughts eloquently and in such detail provides our grandparent with a window into her life to peer through from hundreds of miles away in Ohio. Typically, the personality trait of honesty goes hand in hand with positive morals and compassion for others. The genuine nature that Adrian possesses has been a defining characteristic in all of her social as well as professional interactions. Relationships with her best friend, Melissa, and her boyfriend, Matt, have flourished, continually fueled by her determination to “know the truth” and her insistence that truth and honesty are necessary tools for strong relationships. This honesty has also provided her with opportunities from my parents, by showing she is reliable and straightforward in all that she does. As the oldest child, she pioneered every territory, exploring the boundaries and gaining a deeper understanding of herself and her surroundings, all the while being certain not to break the trust she worked so hard to gain.


Everyday, I strive to match my own standards with the high standards Adrian has set for herself and others. Her work with children in after-school care and at camp sparked a desire in me to be involved with children in my own way, through swim lessons and leadership camps. I explored Christianity with her encouragement at church and in readings of the Bible, but, similar to my sister, failed to create an eternal connection. One does not need to be involved in the church to live an upstanding life and both Adrian and I have chosen to live by this philosophy. The Bible, although not an integral part of our lives now, was a component in the construction of our values and morals. Truth is playing an increasingly important role in my life since observing how it has impacted my sister’s life. As most teenagers do, I went through a stage of dishonesty but quickly learned that it was the wrong path to follow. Adrian guided me back onto the right path, a path of trust, success, and respect. In reaction to the respect I received from others, I was able to stand up for myself more and stay true to my beliefs, something that Adrian felt passionately about and modeled in her own life. While Adrian easily demonstrated her care for others, I was quite different. Throughout the years, I have struggled to emulate her emotional openness and continuous concern. Like my father, I am apt to keep my feelings inside to reveal them only when they become far too great for me to handle on my own. Watching my sister express her emotions has assisted me in opening up my heart and feelings to others, a far more healthy way to live.

Individually, each one of these traits is not extremely impressive. For me to name off people, each who possessed one of these traits, would hardly be a challenging task. However, to find an individual whose personality encompasses each and every one of these traits is remarkable. Also, her ability to use these traits to become a leader in all areas of her life while staying true to herself is a feat few accomplish. At home, she exemplifies personality traits that lead to success and happiness for both me and my little brother and “walks that walk” that she preaches about working hard in school and treating others with respect. In her social circle, she has created the strongest of friendships, holding them to high but realistic standards, and ensuring that they too will be instrumental in the development of her character and will influence her life in a positive way. Through various observances, I have seen that not only does Adrian serve as a leader and role model to her friends, but they have become so similar in personality and goals that they serve as a role model for her as well.

In spite of the significant amount of accolades I have given to Adrian, she is far from perfect. Like every other human being, she has her moments of despair, of uncertainty, of frustration and anger. However it is the combination of her merits and her faults that makes her my role model. I would find it hard to relate to and model myself after someone who seems flawless. Literature, whether scientific, religious or purely entertaining, was the key in providing her with knowledge, positive moral values and motivation to lead a successful life for herself and demonstrate good decisions for others. Outside influences, such as my father and persons at her Bible study, also contributed to creating her character, which in turn created mine. Adrian teaches me the ways to discover my full potential and serve as a role model for others along the way.




"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost." -Marion C. Garretty

[1] Kathryn Bedard, Compassion and Courage in the Aftermath of Traumatic Loss (Binghamton: The Hawthorn Press, 2006), p. 9

[2] Melvin Konner, Becoming a Doctor: A Journey of Initiation in Medicine (New York City: Viking Penguin Inc, 1987), p xiii

[3] Wendy Lustbader, Counting on Kindness: the Dilemmas of Dependency (New York City: The Free Press, 1991), p 171

Word Count: 2026